How Does Low Self-Esteem Come About?
Early experiences can greatly impact the outlook we have about
ourselves. Abuse, neglect, and abandonment can influence
self-esteem throughout our lives. Being harshly criticized,
being ignored, ridiculed, or teased, being expected to be "perfect" all
the time either at home or at school can affect self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can also come from inconsistent or critical
parenting. People with low self-esteem were often given messages
that failed experiences (losing a game, getting a poor grade,
etc.) were failures of their whole self.
While things in our childhood may affect how we view ourselves,
an experience later in life may also be the cause. Often those
with a physical disability or mental illness -including bipolar
disorder - feel as if they are lacking in some way or don't
measure up.
Some people do not believe they are likeable, pretty, or successful.
Even when given positive information, they still see the negatives
in themselves. It becomes a never-ending cycle. Low self-esteem
can also affect relationships if one depends greatly on the
other to maintain their self-image.
Some Signs of Low Self-Esteem
- Self-consciousness
- Shyness
- Over-sensitivity
- Feelings of rejection
- Inability to make decisions
- Attacking others or their character
- Attention seeking
- Aggression
Other signs and behaviors that can indicate self-esteem problems:
Pride
If one is genuinely self-confident, there is no need for
pride; only an empty balloon can be "blown up." To cover
up their own insecurity, a fair amount of people act out pride,
as if they are better than others, but only because they lack
self-confidence.
Improper humility
Regarding oneself not as equal to others, but as less than
others. Humility is a positive quality as it avoids pride
and is other-centered, often driven by active compassion
for others. Lack of self-confidence however, is often self-centered
(feeling sorry for oneself and looking for excuses to not
change your own situation) and it paralyzes you from doing
positive actions.
Idolizing people
Overestimating others is based on - or will easily lead to
- underestimating oneself.
Trying to be a perfect person instead of being oneself
A self-confident person doesn't need to behave like someone
else. Instead of leading to praise, this behavior can lead
to problems as others may easily pierce through the facade.
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