Smile - People like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy,
maybe your favorite pet, and smile.
Eyes - If you don’t look someone in the eyes while speaking,
this can be interpreted as dishonesty or hiding something.
Likewise, shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction
can translate similarly. If more than one person is present
in a group, look each person in the eye as you speak, slowly
turning to face the next person and acknowledge him or her
with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each person has
felt your warm, trusting glance. Some suggest beginning with
one person and moving clockwise around the group so that no
one is missed, and so that you are not darting around, seemingly
glaring at people.
Attention Span / Attitude - Other people can tell what type
attitude you have by your attention span. If you quickly lose
focus of the other person and what is being said, and if your
attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem
disinterested, bored, possibly even uncaring.
Attention Direction - If you sit or stand so that you are
blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you, this
can be interpreted as rude or thoughtless. So be sure to turn
so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of
view, or turn gently, at ease and slowly, while talking, so
that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the
conversation. Again some suggest the clockwise movement when
working a group.
Arms Folded / Legs Crossed - This can be seen as defensive
or an end to the conversation. So have arms hang freely or
hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments
while communicating with others. Be open with open arms. Note:
If you need to cross legs, cross at your ankles and not your
knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to
communications.
Head Shaking - This is fairly accurate. If people are shaking
their heads while you speak, they are in agreement. If they
are shaking, “no,” disagreement reigns in their
minds.
Space / Distance - On the whole, people like their own personal
body space. Give people room and keep out of their space. Entering
to close can be intrusive and viewed as aggressive.
Leaning - Sitting or standing, leaning is viewed as interest.
In other words, an interested listener leans toward the speaker.
Note others’ body language - While
you are with others, note how their bodies read. If a person
suddenly folds his arms across his chest and begins shaking
his head “no,” you’ve
probably lost him. Might try taking a step back and picking
up where the conversation began this turn for the negative
and regroup. It’s all about strategic planning!
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