SAFETY TIPS
1. Do Not Give Out Personal Information - Whether it’s
via email, online chat rooms, message boards, in your personal
ad, etc., do not disclose your personal information like your
complete name, address, telephone number, work place, etc.
And use a third party email address instead of one with your
domain or work domain, too, that is easily traceable. For example,
instead of using joe@seniortimes.com , set up an email account
like joe@yahoo.com or joe@hotmail.com (search “free email
accounts for places like this). Preferred dating sites offer
email forwarding so that members do not see private information
like this. So if you are on one that differs or makes you uncomfortable,
move along and click elsewhere.
2. Do Not Lie - Be up front about your age and appearance.
Better to not be caught in lies later on or lead someone on
falsely.
3. Be Tactful and Leary - Do not believe everything you read
in posts, in emails: in general online. You could be chatting
with a child or someone faking their sexual orientation. The
odds are that you will probably encounter someone a tad “undesirable” from
time to time, so try to use appropriate replies, using tact,
or ignore the encounter, if it suits the situation.
4. Use Caution in Sharing Images - Whenever you think about
sharing a digital photo online, keep in mind that it may be
possible for thousands to see it on the Internet, not just
one person. Plus your photo can be copied, altered with different
software out there today and posted elsewhere. If you do use
your image, send one that shows you with a warm smile, not
a frown.
5. Ask if Unsure - Go slow like the tortoise in the race with
the hare and ask questions if you are unsure how to proceed
in your contact and communications. Contact the site owner
or webmaster (check for contact info when you register), ask
trusted friends for helpful resources, check with local authorities.
Remember that old adage, “Better safe than sorry!”
6. Be careful if you decide to meet for the first date. Remember
there is safety in numbers, so meet in a public place with
other friends around.
7. Keep copies of communications in a file so that you can
show friends or the law in case your meeting or continued contact
takes a bad turn. And do report any problems and cooperate
with authorities. They can get information from your computer
and communications to aid in tracking down culprits in some
cases. Don’t try to take matters into your own hands
and stalk the culprit yourself, though. Be safe.
8. Let men instigate online and offline relationships. Men
still like to pursue. Online studies show that this has proven
safer, too, with Internet dating. Men should make the first
email move. And women should NOT reply to men’s ads;
let the men pursue. (Sorry guys!)
9. So that you don’t appear anxious or desperate or
both, generally wait for a day or 24-hour period before replying.
And forget about replying on weekend and holidays, at least
at first, and being available via instant messaging. This is
especially important for women (double standards are still
around and even exist in the Internet dating scene) – you
want to “appear” socially active, confident – blah,
blah, blah, even if you are just home washing your hair.
10. Don’t date someone who is already married to someone
else – even if that person says he or she is getting
a divorce. Let the divorce happen first. Otherwise things could
get ugly. And you may even have to face the spouse / ex-spouse
and children down the road. So think of others, too, when even
considering someone who is not single.
11. If after several emails or letters you decide to talk
on the phone, keep the first call short, around 10 minutes.
Plan to have to “rush” off. Your goal is to hear
the person’s voice and talk a short while only, not seeming
over anxious.
12. Some gents do complain that the ladies do not reply. So
ladies, reply! At least say, “No, thank you.”
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