Few breakups are total surprises - you can sense them before they happen. Your partner’s attitude might suddenly change. They may become evasive, unavailable, distracted, or hot and cold. They may suddenly be very anxious or busy or pick fights with you over nothing. This behavior may be due to worries about work, family, health, or other significant problems. Perhaps a former love has returned or they just received some shattering news, like a medical diagnosis, that they are afraid to share with you for fear of rejection.

Whether you knew it was coming or not, chances are being dumped has got you feeling pretty down. The longer you have been in a relationship and the more emotion you have invested in it, the more it will distress you to realize that it is over. If you have been dumped by someone you really cared about, you may think that they will take you back and see the error of heir ways. In nearly every case, you’d be wrong! Whatever compelled your potentially perfect partner to want to end this relationship with you will still be there if you get back together. It is nearly 100% guaranteed that “round 2″ will meet the same success dismal success of “round 1″… it is a near certainty and covered by a simple question… “what changed?”

If you think something is up with your partner, be direct in expressing your concern. If you sense something is wrong, you are probably right, and you will need to deal with it.

No matter how bad the news or how much it hurts, breaking up and moving forward to find someone new is better than being in a confusing holding pattern.

Getting dumped is definitely a dating downer, but it also gives you an opportunity to move forward toward your goal if you look on the bright side. You didn’t make the match you have dreamed of just yet, but your special someone is still out there. Crossing one more person off your list who obviously isn’t ideal takes you one step closer to finding the right one-not just anyone.

Breaking up feels bad, maybe even horrible. But if you must end things, focus on the fact that if you don’t, you will be missing out by staying with someone who can’t satisfy your needs. Give yourself credit for having the ability to love, the wisdom to heal, and the courage to try again. Wish your former partner happiness and your good feelings will be reflected back to you. Stay firm in your belief that you will find the love you seek. The next time it will be even better, because you will be with the right person.

In time, you can and will get past the bad feelings, but first it helps to know what you’re about to face. There are four basic stages from grief to healing: denial, depression, anger, and acceptance. Depending upon how invested you were in the relationship, the healing process may take weeks, or it may take months. Try to look at this setback in a positive way. You took a chance on a relationship that didn’t work out, but you have learned from this experience and it has put you that much closer to finding the right person.