Yes you've got it - to your local pub or bar, where
he spends have the night talking to his buddies, and the other
half talking about them. Then to top it off, he takes you for
Macdonalds. The whole date was a complete disaster. He is not
the guy you thought he was, and you don't know why you ever
fancied him in the first place.
So what do you do when it is time to say good night? How do
you avoid the end of the date kiss? And how do you let him
down gently without being to harsh?
It is obvious you have no intention of seeing him again, so
don't beat about the bush. Just get straight to the point.
Sometimes being nice just doesn't work. Being too nice to a
guy that you have no interest in, can lead to mixed signals,
giving them the wrong idea and sometimes unwanted advances.
Making your exit through a toilet window is not the way to
escape the situation. Neither is popping to the loo with your
bag and coat and escaping out of the front door. It works and
is useful as a desperate measure if the date is really bad,
but it is better to deflect the situation and call the date
to an end amicably. Leaving someone standing is a bad way to
work and should only occur if you are feeling deeply uncomfortable.
First off - thank him for a nice date, and explain (gently)
that you don't feel that there is any chemistry. You may prefer
to do this by phone at a later stage. If he asks for a second
chance, and asks you to go on another date with him; you must
be firm with him. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship
with the guy, then you have to make it quite clear.
Don't tell him that you want to be friends, unless you are
really serious about being his friend and actually believe
it can happen. If you don't want to see him again, make this
very clear and avoid any contact with him at all. Even giving
in to a good night kiss will send out the wrong signal and
that is the last thing you want.
Men are not good at reading signals and mistake many gestures
you make towards them. They can take rejection badly but
being cruel to be kind is the way forward. You need to
keep a cool head but make things clear. If you were going
out as a friend in the first place you should make this
clear in advance otherwise you will end up trying to explain
his advances are unwanted later and he will want to know
why. Dating for men is as tricky as it is for women and
therefore you owe it to yourself and your date to end things
amicably, but swiftly if it is simply not what you are
looking for.
That way both people can move forward.
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