1. New Years Resolution: Smile
and Say "Hi" More
Often
"I can smile, chat, and
amuse any guy I'm not interested in -- or any guy who approaches
me. But, let me see a guy on the train, walking by, or across
the room who causes that punch-to-my-stomach gasp, and I will
go out of my way to avoid eye contact, not smile, and otherwise
ignore him. I think it's a fear of rejection thing. Well, this
resolution will increase my tolerance for rejection, while
making me more approachable." - Rachelle Chase, erotic
romance author and speaker, 44, San Francisco, CA, single and
looking.
2. New Years Resolution: Meet Other, Likeminded Singles
"My New Year's resolution
is to change my daily routine (i.e. different Starbucks, different
location of gym, different time of day at gym, new classes
(spin, bootcamp, etc). so that I meet new people and encounter
new people. By changing my daily routine, I am more likely
to meet new people and possibly meet new people to date doing
the things I love to do." - Frank Mastronuzzi, owner of
OneGoodLove, 38, West Hollywood, CA, single.
3. New Years Resolution: Give Your Dates a Chance
Dr. Thea Lobell, Ph.D., a psychotherapist
out of Baton Rouge, LA, believes that an important New Years
resolution to make is that of giving people second chances.
She clarifies: "Date someone two times before making a
decision about the person. It's not uncommon for people to
be extremely nervous on a first date. Due to nerves, people
are rarely able to highlight their strengths on a first encounter.
Unless the person is blatantly offensive, give them the benefit
of the doubt and go on a second date."
4. New Years Resolution: Lose the Negativity
Says Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret, "Vow
to give up the pity party and negative thinking about love,
romance and dating. If you believe that there is enough air
to breathe and water to drink, then I encourage you to believe
there is more than enough love for you. Become a magnet for
love this year. Start giving more of what you want to receive.
More attention, more affection, more love and watch what happens!"
5. New Years Resolution: Get Specific
Dr. Colleen Long, Psy.D., also known
as the Happiness Diva, suggests: "'You have to know where
you are going, if you are actually going to get there.' This
is a saying we have in the south which still holds true in
the world of dating and relationships. Many times, people make
the mistake of just taking whatever life throws their way.
However, if we are to truly get what we want and desire, we
must first articulate those things to ourselves. Start by sitting
down and making a list of the things you desire in a partner.
They may start out very general such as, 'must be attractive,'
but soon they will start to develop into more specific to you
items, like 'must make me laugh until I cry.'"
6. New Years Resolution: Cultivate A Relationship With Yourself
"I notice that many women
including myself have set aside their career and personal goals
for their significant others. I was one of them. I have set
myself back in terms of my success for many years applying
all of my energy into relationships. My New Year's resolution:
Love myself and take care of myself first prior to loving anyone
else. If I am not happy with myself, I'll find myself in unhealthy
and potentially destructive relationships. Like Carrie said
in Sex in the City, 'The most exciting, challenging and significant
relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And
if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's
just fabulous.'" - Jeanine Swatton, author of Women Crossing
Bridges, 35, Dublin, CA.
7. New Years Resolution: Set Relationship Boundaries
"Promise to set boundaries
with people who drain your time and energy – family,
friends, people you may feel sorry for. Relationships need
to be give and take. When they aren’t, they drain you
and take away time you need for your own happiness and your
true friends." - Carolyn Bushong, L.P.C., author of Bring
Back the Man You Fell in Love With.
8. New Years Resolution: Create Your Own Dating Rules
"As a single, 20-something
in New York, I resolve to do what feels most true to my nature
on all of my dates. For me, this often means forgetting about
the rules that society dictates about how men and women should
interact in the early stages of relationships. It means trusting
my gut about when to become involved sexually, when it's okay
to call, or when to tell a guy how strong (or weak) my feelings
are. Ultimately, I resolve to do what I want!" - Rachel
Russo, Marriage and Family Therapist Trainee and Professional
Matchmaker.
9. New Years Resolution: Make a Plan
Megan L. Reese, a divorced and
looking 39-year-old woman in West Grove, PA, suggests an innovative
idea. "After five years of dating, relationships and bad
experiences, I've decided to take a very proactive approach
to dating in 2009. I am writing a business plan. As a business
woman, every year I write a business plan that outlines my
goals, strategies, time lines, etc. I thought, 'Why aren't
I being this intentional in my personal life?' My 2009 'Man
Plan' includes a vision and mission statement, goals, marketing,
budget, strategic partnerships and metrics for measuring my
efforts."
10. New Years Resolution: Use Feng Shui To Increase Your Odds
An unusual twist on
the New Year's resolution is to use energy cues to get you
where you want to be, says Chriss Barr, a Feng Shui expert
and owner of Palm Beach Feng Shui. She expands: "The best
thing you can do is to sit facing your relationship direction
when you’re out to dinner or meeting someone new on a
first date. In Feng Shui your relationship direction is based
on your birthday and is unique to you. When you use your personal
relationship direction you make a better connection with your
partner and they’re more receptive to you. Another great
idea is to wear colors associated with your personal relationship
direction."
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