Honesty
But how do you create a powerful
and compelling online dating profile? You've heard that honesty
is the best policy… It
is.
Be honest. The person you're trying to attract will eventually
agree to meet you if you have written an eye catching profile.
Eventually the "real" you will pop out. You don't
want to get dumped once your feelings are involved.
Statistics show that people can only keep up a façade
of pretending to be something other than they are for approximately
3-6 months (there have been cases of years but that's not the
norm). If you want to find Mr./Mrs. Right, adhere to the honesty
policy and represent yourself exactly as you are and not want
you want others to perceive you.
Be clever and funny in your profile but be sincere. (Think
of the online dating profile as if you were actually speaking
to them in person for the first time.) If you're funny, then
show it in your writing. Don't tell someone how funny you are,
e.g. "I'm funny and have a great sense of humor." That
won't make them a believer.
Here is an example of something funny and clever. Football
fans will enjoy this one. (This is not for your profile, but
used as an example of funny lines I have used when talking
to an audience.):
"If your partner is more concerned about that 3rd and
1 on television, than the 4th and 23 in your own living room,
then you might be another statistic on the playing field of
love. Tell them not to try for a 58 yard field goal, go for
six instead."
Do you see what I'm writing about? Word pictures are very
powerful tools that help draw the reader in and help to reveal
who you are and what you're about.
A Picture Says It All
Another important aspect of your online dating profile is
pictures. Show them a picture of you. A picture speaks volumes
about who you are. If you say you are sporty but have a picture
of you sitting on a couch, what does that say? Use a picture
of you on a bike, in a race, waterskiing, etc. Don't use a
High School picture if you are in your 20's or older. Use a
recent picture. They will find out what you look like when
they meet you. Why draw someone in and then have them ditch
you if you don't look the same?
The eyes reveal a lot in a picture. If they sparkle with what's
called a "catch light," the viewer will be more drawn
to you. (A catch light is the little light that shows up on
the pupil). If your eyes look suave, the viewer will probably
click you away.
Avoid Turn-Offs
Make sure to do a spelling and grammar check before you post
to an online dating site. Words that are spelt incorrectly
and bad punctuation can tune a lot of people out and then they
will click you off.
A few last words of advice: Forget about negativity in your
profile and don't talk about ex-relationships. That will give
the reader a sense that you are a serial dater and perhaps
a heartbreaker.
Avoid phrases like: "I don't play games."; "I
love long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and romantic
nights by the fire." You can show them that when you meet
them.
Every person I have surveyed in the past has said that lines
such as the above are red flags and a sign that he/she is a "player."
Online dating can be fun, exciting and successful, but be
safe and enjoy the process. When you finally connect with someone
on an online dating site, agree to meet at a coffee shop during
the day. Never go off in their car no matter how safe they
seem, always take yours.
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